Purity as a Lifestyle, Not Just as a Dating thing (1 Cor 6:12)

If you intentionally want to live a life of purity, Christ must take his role over your life. You must be conscious about

   1)      Modesty in dress. Does my outfit draw attention to my sexuality? Does it help protect the image of God within me? Will this outfit make it difficult for me or those around me not to “arouse or awaken love” before its proper time?

   2)      Entertainment choices. We must limit our boundaries in entertaining ourselves because some media are places for sexual temptation; whether in music, movies and television.

   3)      The internet should be regulated with filters. You can’t do this without grace and help. Find someone to pray with you, to encourage you, and to keep you accountable.

   4)      Masturbation. You must exercise self-control and do away with the sin of lust that gives birth to self-gratification in masturbation.

   5)      Flirting which runs against the grain of the monogamy that will later be required in a Christian marriage.

God’s view of singleness (1Cor 7:38)

Single people are called to celibacy. What we mean is that singles are called to abstain from marriage and sexual relations. We base our argument on 1 Cor 7:1-9 and 1Tim 5:2 as well as the typological relationship between human sexuality and the gospel (Eph 5:21-33).

Many youths today long for marriage and others are not seeing any possibility to get life partners. The sense of longing and pain many singles feel is something that only others singles can truly identify with. As Solomon says, “The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares it joy” (Prov 14:10).

One can be single by choice. 1 Cor 7:25-40 reminds us that marriage is only a type and shadow, a picture of a higher reality. Marriage between a man and a woman is penultimate; marriage to Christ is ultimate. There is a gospel calling even higher than marriage-the calling of celibacy for the sake of gospel advance. See 1 cor 7:27-31; our age is full of gospel urgency. And no one knows when it will end. Paul makes us know that marriage and family absorb time and energy that could otherwise be spent in carrying out the Great commission. So God’s word here commends singleness as a preferred lifestyle, not simply as a fall back plan if one’s hopes for marriage don’t pan out. Before Christ came, singleness (and thus barrenness) in the Old Testament was considered a curse, especially for a woman. But in the New Testament, singleness is not only acceptable but also a  blessed state of existence when Christ is honoured as the ultimate bridegroom and where spiritual children are produced as covenant offspring by means of discipleship.

We also have singleness by gifting. Those who “burn” with a strong desire for sexual intimacy should not attempt a celibate lifestyle (1 Cor 7:9). Paul says “I wish all were as I myself am (Celibate); but each has his own gift from God, one of one kind, and one of another (V.7). if you have the gift of celibacy you know. Your sexual passions, while not completely dormant, do not drive your life in the same ways as they do your other single friends. Illicit sexual desire has never been a significant struggle for you. This, we believe, is a rare and special gift- a divinely given ability to live happily without the companionship and sexual gratification of marriage with this you know that singleness is not a curse; but an opportunity. Whether marriage is something such a single hope for or is less concerned about the one who applies scriptures will use this single lifestyle to serve Jesus. That is Paul’s vision.

Celibacy can also be considered as fasting; which heightens our spiritual senses; diminishes the background noise of life and brings to the fore all the things we can take for granted. The season of divinely appointed fasting can last for months, years or even a lifetime. If you don’t have a proper theology of fasting, then you are going to get upset with God when he causes one of your appetites to go unsatisfied. You will believe he is starving you. God disciplines us because he loves us (Heb 12:6). He’s not out to rob you of joy but to lead you into it.

So, if you are unhappily single, please remember that God is for you in Christ Jesus. Neither life nor death nor anything in all of creation-even singleness-can separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord (Rom 8:38-39). He knows you are hungry. But he has chosen, at least for now, not to satisfy your hunger, and he has done so for an infinitely good reason- that you might turn to him in deep dependence. His plan for you, for this season is your singleness. And while he may not have granted you the gift of singleness, his grace is sufficient to sustain you through the fast.