BITTER FOR BETTER

 Text: Proverbs 9:7–9 (KJV)

“He that reproveth a scorner getteth to himself shame: and he that rebuketh a wicked man getteth himself a blot.”

 — Proverbs 9:7

Introduction

Nobody naturally enjoys being corrected.

We may appreciate encouragement, compliments, recognition and affirmation, but correction is different. Correction exposes what we would rather hide. It tells us that something in our thinking, attitude, behaviour or decision needs to change.

And sometimes correction hurts.

But here is an important truth:

Something can be bitter to receive and still be good for us.

A healthy vegetable may not taste as good as junk food, but what tastes good is not always what is good for the body. In the same way, what feels good to hear is not always what is good for the soul.

Sometimes the words we most need are the words we least want to hear.

That is why the Bible teaches us not only how to give correction, but also how to receive correction.

 

1. Correction is not rejection

When someone corrects us, our first reaction can be:

"Why are you attacking me?"

"Why are you always finding fault with me?"

"Who gave you the right to tell me what to do?"

But correction and rejection are not the same thing.

A person who truly loves you may sometimes tell you something you don't want to hear because they care about who you are becoming.

Proverbs 27:5–6 says:

“Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend…”

A faithful friend will not always tell you what makes you comfortable. Sometimes he will tell you what can make you better.

A father corrects his child because he wants the child to grow.

A coach corrects a player because he wants the player to improve.

A doctor tells a patient what needs to change because he wants the patient to become healthy.

And God sometimes uses people around us to reveal things about ourselves that we cannot

see.

The question is not, “Did the correction hurt?”

The better question is:

“Is there truth in what I have been told?”

 2. The bitter truth can produce a better life

Imagine someone taking medicine.

It may be bitter. You may dislike the taste. You may even wish you did not have to take it.

But you don't reject the medicine simply because it tastes bad.

Why?

Because you understand that the purpose is greater than the taste.

Godly correction can be like medicine.

It may expose pride.

It may reveal impatience.

It may uncover a wrong attitude.

It may challenge our treatment of our wife or children.

It may expose how we speak to people.

It may reveal that our priorities are wrong.

It may show us that we are becoming too ambitious, too controlling, too defensive or too self-centred.

The truth may hurt, but the purpose of correction is not to destroy us.

It is to help us become better.

Hebrews 12:11 says:

“Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous…”

Correction doesn't always feel good in the moment.

But the verse continues by saying that afterward it produces the fruit of righteousness.

That is the principle:

The pain of correction can produce the fruit of transformation.

 

3. Proverbs warns us about the person who refuses correction

Proverbs 9:7–8 does not only talk about the person giving correction. It also describes the person receiving it.

“He that reproveth a scorner getteth to himself shame…”

Why?

Because the scorner does not respond to correction with humility. He responds with hostility.

Instead of asking, “Could this be true?”, he attacks the person correcting him.

This is dangerous.

A person can become so committed to

defending himself that he becomes unwilling to examine himself.

And once a person becomes uncorrectable, growth becomes extremely difficult.

There is a great difference between making a mistake and refusing correction.

We will all make mistakes.

We will all sometimes speak wrongly.

We will sometimes make poor decisions.

We will sometimes hurt people without intending to.

We will sometimes misunderstand situations.

But a wise person can say:

“I was wrong. Thank you for showing me. I will work on it.”

That is not weakness.

That is maturity.

4. The wise man does not have to agree immediately

Receiving correction does not mean accepting every accusation blindly.

There is a difference between humility and gullibility.

Someone may correct you and be wrong.

Someone may misunderstand your situation.

Someone may even correct you with a wrong motive.

Therefore, we should take correction before God and examine it.

Ask:

•            Is what this person saying true?

•            Does Scripture support it?

•            Is there something I need to change?

•            Have other mature people noticed the same thing?

•            What is God trying to teach me through this?

•            Is my reaction coming from humility or pride?

Sometimes the correction may be partly right and partly wrong.

A mature person does not throw away the entire message simply because the messenger was imperfect.

He searches for the truth.

 

Prayer

Father, thank You because You love us enough to correct us. Forgive us for the times we have responded to correction with pride, anger, defensiveness or resentment. Give us humble and teachable hearts. Help us to recognise the truth even when it is difficult to hear. Give us godly brothers who will speak the truth to us in love, and give us wisdom and courage to do the

same for others.

Lord, make us men who are willing to change. Remove pride from us and develop in us the character of Christ. May every correction You bring into our lives produce greater wisdom, stronger character, deeper humility and greater usefulness in Your Kingdom.

In Jesus' name, Amen.