Will you obey and do your mission? Matthew 28:16-20

When I look at our text, I find an assignment from our Lord to his followers. Jesus commissioned the disciples to

a)       preach Jesus in order to make disciples for Jesus

b)      preach the gospel of His death for our sins and resurrection for our hope that we may be saved

c)       immerse disciples in water

d)      teach the word of Jesus to immersed disciples.

1.      What is mission?

It’s an important assignment given to a person or group of people, typically involving traveling. Do we have a mission?

Yes. Because God has a mission to restore the world. God created man for a purpose. He created the world for a purpose. FOR HIS GLORY. (Isaiah 43:7)

Sin has caused man not to fulfil God’s purpose. Ro 3:23 “…come short of God’s glory”.

Through Christ god has brought restoration to man. Restoration to His purpose ie glorifying God and enjoying Him forever.

Those who’ve experienced restoration have been given a command to take on God’s mission to bring others to Christ through the gospel.

2.      How do we do missions?

    a)       Firstly; Be in Christ. Don’t just do but be in Christ.

                                                               i.      Spend time with God. In meditation, prayer, bible reading and silence. Learn to hear His voice (John 10:17)

                                                             ii.      Obey to keep your relationship with God.(James 4:4-10)

                                                           iii.      Be quick to repent when you fall (James 5:13-16). Do not pretend to be perfect, be transparent before God. Allow Him to help you out.

   b)      Secondly; Find your role in missions.

Everybody has a role as a Christian. You either obey and take your role or you’re disobedient. All believers have to be involved in kingdom advancement; because the end will come only when the gospel is preached throughout the whole world as a testimony (Matt 24:14)

The question you should ask “How do I get involved?” You are either a goer or a sender. The goer and sender share in God’s blessing together (1Sam 30:24)

i)                    The missionary or goer

    -      He leaves his culture and goes to other cultures to share the gospel

    -          His burden is to see people reach with the gospel (reaching the unreach for Christ)

    -          He’s gifted by God to adapt to new situations and cultures and learn new languages

    -          Have a passion to see God’s name glorified where it’s not.

ii)                  Senders

Unless there are senders, there’ll be no goers (Ro 10:15) Behind a missionary there are people who pray and support him. The sender is intentional and lives a simple lifestyle to release more resources for missions.

3.      Question: Are you a reluctant disciple?

Jesus’ disciples have a mission to evangelise. Israel was a strategic place to start world evangelism to a monotheistic God. Many traders and travellers were passing through Palestine for the sake of business. Instead of using this as open door they were transformed to man-made gods. Solomon began his fall into material prosperity and signed contracts (married foreign women) for the sake of money. These are some 3 points which will help you evaluate yourself.

    1.       God is not willing that any should perish (2 Pt 3:9)

But many Christians today are like Jonah who do not obey the command to go (Jonah 1:2). It was hard for Jonah to believe that “God so loved” the Ninevites as He loved Israel (John 3:16). God is sending you and I to the unreach. God is asking us to

     -          Make disciples of all nations (tribes and cultures) (mtt 28:19)

     -          Preach the gospel to every creature (mk 16:15)

     -          Preach the word (2Tim 4:2)

     -          Go your way. Behold I send you out as Lambs among wolves (Lk 10:3). And he reassures us;

     -          These things I want you to affirm confidently so that those who have believed in God might be careful to maintain good works (Ti 3:8)

    2.       Running from our responsibility

Jonah was running to Tarshish (Jh1:3). Why will someone who knows the true God run away from such an opportunity? He knew they’ll repent (Jh 4:2). Jonah had an ethnocentric racism. Are you like Jonah?

    3.       Are you looking for opportunities?

Illustration: Shoe salesmen sent to a very poor country and their reports were opposing. One sees an open door for business since the people do not wear shoes, while the other sees a closed door for business because the people do not wear shoes (surely thinking that they will never wear shoes).

    a)       Be sensitive to open doors

See Paul in 2Cor 2:12 “Now when I came to Troas to preach the gospel of Christ, and a door was opened to me by the Lord…” we have open doors in buses, in offices, at work site, chantiers etc. Use them! Note that it is Satans work to war against our discovery of open doors. It’s God who open doors. 1 Cor 16:8,9 “But I will tarry in Ephesus until Pentecost. For a great and effective door has opened to me, and there are many adversaries” Adversaries are indications that there’s an open door to preach the gospel.

    b)      Situations produce open doors

While in prison Paul was still praying for open doors. Col 4:3 “Also continue praying for us so that God may open to us a door for the word, to speak the mystery of Christ, for which I am also in chains. Be open door minded! The love of the world has crowded the minds of many to lost souls (Mtt 6:24). Just like it says in James 4:13 some travel to make profit for themselves but disciples travel like Paul, a tentmaker to make profit for the kingdom of Jesus.

What should motivate you?

    1)      To glorify God

    2)      By Christ’s example and command

    3)      By the need: we leave in a world with over 7 billion people who are dead in their sins. Walking dead! We were ones death but we found Jesus. Should we be indifferent?

    4)      By opportunity. Paul changed his schedules in order to take advantage of the opportunities to preach the gospel. Every disciple must be sensitive to open doors.

    5)      By the zeal of Satan. Eph 6:10,11 “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God so that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.

    6)      Because of the results of failure. What if we fail to evangelise the world?

a.       Hell’s gates will be broken wide open. Mtt 7:13 “wide is the gate that leads to destruction.”

b.       Bad heritage to leave our children. An unevangelised world is an unbearable burden to our children we leave behind.

c.       God’s people are not seen as God’s people. Sitting tight without sending the light will never take Christ into all the world.

    7)      Because of our joy. Christians are excited about sharing Jesus. This leads us to be convicted, and our conviction leads to more conversions

Prayer:

-          For one another to take their responsibilities

-          to preach the gospel

-          For God to open doors for them

-          That they’ll keep to God’s word and study his word

-          That Satan will not thwart their open doors

-          That they’ll be sensitive to open doors and ready to give for missions

-          For obedience to the command of our Lord

-          That they’ll receive the joy of soul winning

-          Pray against ethnocentric racism amongst those who call themselves Christians

-          Pray for the spirit of meditation and to here God’s voice

-          Pray that our church will be mission minded not in words but in deeds

-          Pray for the church project and good stewardship

-          Pray for the leadership of the church.

Amen

NHN

WHO RULE’S THE EARTH ? Daniel 7 :13-14

In the seventh chapter of Daniel we see a parallel with his vision in chapter two. The head of gold and the lion refers to Babylon. The silver and Bear refers to Medo-Persia. The Brass and leopard refers to Greece. The iron and clay feet in chapter two refers to Rome just as the dreadful and terrible beast in chapter seven. All of these kingdoms were destroyed. There rulers were all destroyed and their thrones destroyed. Their authorities were all gone. The question to who rule’s the earth may be very simple; we would ask who rules the universe? This is still very limited to the One we are talking of. Because He has been given authority in heaven as well.

Let’s read our text again “ I continued watching in the night visions, and I saw One like a son of man
coming with the clouds of heaven. He approached the Ancient of Days and was escorted before Him. He was given authority to rule, and glory, and a kingdom; so that those of every people, nation, and language should serve Him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away, and His kingdom is one that will not be destroyed.”

Daniel is placed in heaven to give us a picture of what will happen when the son of man ascended to the right hand of the Father in heavenly places. “The son of man, coming with the clouds of heaven to the Ancient of Days”. And Acts 1:9-10 speaks of Jesus being taken in a cloud to heaven. So Daniel was giving a prophecy of the ascension of Jesus in the text.

    1.       All peoples and languages should serve Him

The text does not say all peoples would serve Him. It is subjunctive. The son of man would have a universal sovereignty, though not all in that sovereignty would be obedient subjects. We still have disobedient subjects today. Regardless of the disobedience of some people on earth, Jesus is still sovereign. The church is just a part of the universal kingdom of Jesus. All nations and languages are part of this kingdom reign.

   2.       For the benefit of Christians who are the church

Ephesians 1:20-22 “He demonstrated this power in the Messiah by raising Him from the dead and seating Him at His right hand in the heavens — far above every ruler and authority, power and dominion, and every title given, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And He put everything under His feet and appointed Him as head over everything for the church”

Jesus is far above all principality, above all rulers or personalities, above powers and dominion. This is what ascension means. That Jesus is ruling from heaven over all. Paul adds that “to or for the church”. Jesus is head over all things for the sake of the church. As Christians, we should be encouraged that the reign of Jesus is for the sake of the church; for the benefit of Christians who are the church. What a glorious gift from the bridegroom to the bride!

If Jesus and His authority is above all things and we are seated in heavenly places with him (Eph 2:6) then we should rejoice that we in Christ have authority over principalities, powers and dominion. What is making you so afraid when you are with the king? Is it a virus? Job? Sickness? Witches? What should frighten you my friend? Rethink again and stand up like a kingdom citizen.

   3.       For the glory of God, the Father

Philippians 2:9-11 “For this reason God highly exalted Him and gave Him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow —of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth —and every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

The sovereign rule of Jesus is for the benefit of Christians and most importantly for the glory of God the Father. Jesus’ authority (name) is above every authority. Above those in the material world (“those on earth”). His rule is over all angels in heaven (“those in heaven”) and over Satan and demons (“those under the earth”)

Jesus’ present sovereign rule is beyond the church. Philippians 2:9-11 is not talking of something that is in the future. Paul is talking of something that is present. After Jesus’ final coming the earth and Satan with his demons will be eternally destroyed (Mt 25:41). Just like in Daniel 7, Philippians 2 says every tongue should confess Jesus. However, all are not submissive today. Whether they submit or not Jesus is still their king and they will one day submit. Unfortunately, it will be too late for their redemption.

Hebrews 2:8 says we do not see everything under Jesus now. At this time it may seem that things are out of control in regards to kingdom reign of Jesus. But when He comes again, it will be clearly manifested when He brings judgment upon all who have opposed Him.

His kingdom is everlasting. It is sure and steadfast and would not pass away like the kingdoms of Babylon, Medo-Persia, Greece and Rome. Jesus’ kingdom originates from heaven. No power on earth can influence this kingdom. My friend, are you living a kingdom life or you are one of those disobedient subjects under the kingdom reign of Jesus? Reconsider your ways before it becomes too late. You still have the time to get on your knees and confess Jesus Christ as your Lord, saviour and king.

Shalom NHN

Living a life that is pleasing to God. 1 Thess 4:1-12

Paul wrote this letter to the new converts in Thessalonica; people who had been Christians for only few months. Paul tells them what God expects of new converts after their conversion to the Lord. The theme of this book comes from 1 Thess 3:8 “ For now we live, if you stand firm in the Lord”.

Notice that Paul did not stay long in Thessalonica on his initial visit as he went to Berea. The Thessalonians were converted out of a religious culture of idolatry that promoted fornication (1 Thess 1:9). So Paul wrote this letter from Corinth, to deal with some doctrinal problems concerning Christian behaviour.

Living a life that is pleasing to God is therefore central in Paul’s letter. You can only please God if you live after the principles of God’s will. Paul says, “ More than anything else, however, we want to please him, whether in our home here or there.” (2 Corinthians 5:9)

Is the Lord well-pleased with what you are doing? This question is important because the Scriptures reveal that we were created by God for His own pleasure (cf. Revelation 4:11 'for thou hast created all things, and for Thy pleasure they are and were created.') That is why God wants us to be transformed and to thus grow in the image of Christ. Because it is this particular image that pleases Him the most. When God can see the image of Christ being formed in you, He is pleased with what He sees. And you would have then fulfilled your role as God's creature - to bring great pleasure unto Him 

How pleased is God with the image of Christ in us? This can only be seen in the way God speaks of Christ in scriptures, 'This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.' One took place at the time that Christ was baptized (Matthew 3:17), and the other was at the time that Christ was transfigured (Matthew 17:5). Knowing how well pleased God the Father is with Christ, His only begotten Son, we must press on to bear the image of Christ in us. This is how we all can live a life pleasing unto God. 

And if you truly believe in Christ and are saved, you will have the desire to please the Lord in everything you do. Instead of living to please yourself, you will live to please God. Your attitudes and values change, your preferences, likes and dislikes will be different from before, when you are living to please the Lord.

The believer who is truly saved will live no longer to please himself, but to please God. A life that is well-pleasing to God will be the outcome of salvation, proving that it is a genuine salvation. Dearly beloved, are you living your life in a manner that is well-pleasing to God? Can God see the likeness of His only begotten Son in your life? Can He say of you, 'This is my beloved child in whom I am well-pleased?'

The passage begins: Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more.' As disciples of Jesus, one must continue to grow. As Christians walk by faith, they continue to mature toward the image of Christ. Let us look at those ways we must please God in:

I.            In Moral Purity

This is mentioned in vv.3-4 'For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honour,' The sexual immorality  refers to all forms of sexual sin: pre-marital sex, prostitution, adultery, incest and homosexual relationships. The world we live in is getting more permissive than ever before. A survey taken a few years ago among university students revealed that up to 60 % think that premarital sex is all right. They say that everybody is doing it, and that it is a very natural thing to do, just like animals who do it by instinct.

Sexual sins are even being promoted widely by popular media and behavioural scientists. They are trying to teach that true happiness is found outside monogamous faithful marriage and recommend that more should have affairs. The gay movement is striving for rights to have homosexual marriages, adopt children, and to have school textbooks rewritten to include and even recommend their lifestyle as an acceptable option.

The only cure is to go back to the Bible. The Bible teaches us that any sexual pleasure must be enjoyed only within the context of marriage. Any sexual pleasure that is derived outside of marriage is outside of God’s plan. The sad thing is that sexual sins are found not only among non-believers, but also among Christians! While they should be the ones who are seeking to please God, they displease Him instead by having an affair with someone. It will not surprise me if I discover that any of you are our within you people are having sexual affairs. I only pity those but it is happening.


sexual sin displeases God and in fact, it brings down His wrath because of disobedience (Ephesians 5:6). God wants us to take such a serious view of sexual sin, that we should even consider lustful thoughts and desires as sinful! A mind that is filled with such thoughts is not the mind of Christ. What if my thoughts were projected on a screen for people to see? Note that God sees your thoughts.
This is mentioned in v.5 of our text which says, ‘not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;' The word  Passion or concupiscence here means craving, longing or desiring what is forbidden. There are some who say that indulging one's lust is normal and harmless so long as the acts imagined in one's mind are not carried out. It is a fact that every act of sexual immorality always begins with immoral thoughts. Therefore, we must flee from these lusts. Don't let your mind swallow anything that will cause temptation. Deliberately avoid the thing, the person, the place, or the activity that sets the stage for temptation. 

If you want to please God you must be careful with media (magazines, books, films, TV shows and internet). Flee from pornography!  Sometimes you may be tempted to satisfy your curiosity to know about these things, thinking that this is all right as long as you do not commit them. But before you knows it, you will find yourself drawn deeper into sin.

If you want to live a life pleasing to God, you must keep clear of anything that will stir up sexual thoughts and feelings. Do not give that 'second look.' I have made a covenant with my eyes;
how then could I gaze at a virgin?' (Job 31:1). Follow Joseph's example: When Potiphar's wife tried to seduce him, what did he do? He did not stay there a moment longer, but ran away!
And whenever such temptations come, let us remember the words of v.7 of our text: ‘For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness.' God has specially called you to be morally clean in all your thoughts, words and actions as he calls you to offer yourself as living sacrifice, acceptable to his service and pleasing to God (Romans 12:1)

Please do not despise your special calling, for by doing that you would end up not pleasing God but despising Him! V.8 tells us 'He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us His holy Spirit.' We move on now to another aspect in which we should seek to please God, and that is:

II.           In Brotherly love

Verse 9 tells us ‘Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another,' The word for 'brotherly love' here is philadelphia. This word was often used to describe the mutual love and affection that exists between family members, such as parents and children, husbands and wives. And so, this verse is saying that the love that Christians should have toward one another in the Body of Christ should be like the love that members in a close-knit family have for one another. I call this family relationship. This love prohibits sexual activity (eros).

It is for this reason that Christians are called 'brethren' (as Paul addresses the Thessalonians in 4:1) this term means 'brothers and sisters.' Those who are so closely related should not have to be told to love one another. It should be something that comes very naturally.

That is why Paul did not have to elaborate further on how the Thessalonian Christians should love one another and he says in v.9, 'you yourselves are taught of God to love one another.' There are many practical ways of showing love for one another, e.g. giving to help those who are in need, expressing warm appreciation and thanks, enquiring after the welfare of others, comforting those who are in sorrow, correcting those who are going astray, and forgiving those who have offended you. 

Brotherly love is not a love cannot be hidden. If you look at v.10 you will see that Paul knew about the brotherly love that the Thessalonian Christians had for their brethren in Macedonia. This refers to the churches at Philippi and Berea. Even though these cities were quite far from Thessalonica, the Thessalonians apparently travelled all the way to them to see how they could be of help to them in practical ways.

Many of us today say brother, sister but we tear them down with our mouths and gossips. we give lip service because we hide information from them but we say they are brethren. We are unable to correct them when they do wrong and we claim they are brethren: that is not love!

So dearly beloved, let us all put our Christian love into action. Be sensitive to the needs of fellow Christians around you and be ready to love them with the love of Christ. Go out of your way for those who are in need. For by doing that you are in effect doing the same to our Lord Himself. Jesus said, 'Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these My brethren, ye have done it unto Me.' (Matthew 25:40) There is no better way to please our Lord than to show brotherly love one for another. It really brings out the likeness of Christ who loved us with more than brotherly love. See how Paul expresses his joy and God’s reaction in Philippians 4:18 (read)
Now thus far we have seen two aspects in which we ought to seek to please God: In Moral Purity and in Brotherly Love. Let us go on now to the third aspect which is given in vv.11-12:

III.         In Earning an Honest Living

‘And to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.' Making an honest living is oftentimes not easy in the world we live in, where the prevailing trend is to make a living by any possible means, honest or not. 

Some time last year there was a case of a bank teller who embezzled funds for himself from fixed deposit accounts by forging signatures of the customers. I know him and I visited him in jail. The children were hurt and the wife as well. Some fabricate services with too much money, others fake measures or falsify reports or estimates just because they want to earn more. Cheating and dishonesty not only hurts others, but also displeases God.

Another means of making a living that displeases God is gambling. People who gamble often dream of that chance in a million of striking it rich overnight, and making huge fortunes merely by risking a small amount of money. And when times are bad and people are not able to get a job, the temptation sometimes comes to 'try your luck' so to speak. Please do not give in to such temptation. If you have been secretly or openly playing with jackpot machines, Xbet, parifoot, PMUC please realise that God is not at all pleased and will not bless your income. You will lose whatever you win.

Another means that we should never use, is to live off the earnings of others. This was a persistent problem among the Thessalonian Christians. There were some members who refused to work, but who lived off the hard earned income of other members in the church. They were idlers who were neither sick or invalid, but were able-bodied people. Instead of working, they spent their time gossipping loudly, and sticking their nose into other other people's affairs.

This is why Paul wrote to them, 'that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands' (v.11). In the second epistle to the Thessalonians, Paul wrote about them again, 'if any would not work, neither should he eat.' (2 Thessalonians 3:10). The exception of course are those who want to work but are unable to work, because of illness or a home quarantine order. But even those who have been blessed with a huge windfall, should not think to themselves that they can now retire early and do nothing. They should be gainfully employed and not idling around. 'Idle hands are the devil's workshop'.
Now that we have seen three aspects of life where we must walk pleasing to God, (Moral purity, Brotherly Love and Earning an Honest Living) there is one more thing we must take note of in this passage about pleasing God. If you really are serious about wanting to please God, you should not only be doing these things, but trying all the time to do more and to do better. 

This is brought out in two verses: v.1 'Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more.' As well as v.10 'And indeed ye do it toward all the brethren which are in all Macedonia: but we beseech you, brethren, that ye increase more and more'

Many of you here are already applying all the three aspects of pleasing God in your life. In moral purity, you have successfully been faithful in your marriage or your singleness. In brotherly love, you have done many good things to help others. In earning a living, you have done it all by honest hard work. All that is very well and good. But there is always room for improvement. And if your heart's desire is truly to please the Lord, you will not be satisfied with what you have already done. You will strive to do better than that and keep on growing into the image of Christ!

It is time for you to make a commitment to grow more and more. Whatever level you have already attained in your walk with God, seek to get on to a higher level. There are still things in your life that are not pleasing to God. From what we have learned from God’s word there are areas of your life that needs prayer and diligent effort, so that the image of Christ will become clearer in your life. Think of the words that God spoke concerning Christ, 'This is my beloved Son in whom I am well-pleased.'
We shall look at sex, dating and relationship. But have you been engaged in illicit sex? Have you been having passionate kissing with someone with whom you are not married? Have you been having fondling or mutual masturbation even with the one you say you are dating? God is not pleased with you. I invite you to get into prayer as we close this section. Tell God exactly how you feel. Tell him what you intend to do with that sin.

Note that no one can please God without faith. “No one can please God without faith, for whoever comes to God must have faith that God exists and rewards those who seek him.” (Hebrews 11:6).

Purity as a Lifestyle, Not Just as a Dating thing (1 Cor 6:12)

If you intentionally want to live a life of purity, Christ must take his role over your life. You must be conscious about

   1)      Modesty in dress. Does my outfit draw attention to my sexuality? Does it help protect the image of God within me? Will this outfit make it difficult for me or those around me not to “arouse or awaken love” before its proper time?

   2)      Entertainment choices. We must limit our boundaries in entertaining ourselves because some media are places for sexual temptation; whether in music, movies and television.

   3)      The internet should be regulated with filters. You can’t do this without grace and help. Find someone to pray with you, to encourage you, and to keep you accountable.

   4)      Masturbation. You must exercise self-control and do away with the sin of lust that gives birth to self-gratification in masturbation.

   5)      Flirting which runs against the grain of the monogamy that will later be required in a Christian marriage.

God’s view of singleness (1Cor 7:38)

Single people are called to celibacy. What we mean is that singles are called to abstain from marriage and sexual relations. We base our argument on 1 Cor 7:1-9 and 1Tim 5:2 as well as the typological relationship between human sexuality and the gospel (Eph 5:21-33).

Many youths today long for marriage and others are not seeing any possibility to get life partners. The sense of longing and pain many singles feel is something that only others singles can truly identify with. As Solomon says, “The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares it joy” (Prov 14:10).

One can be single by choice. 1 Cor 7:25-40 reminds us that marriage is only a type and shadow, a picture of a higher reality. Marriage between a man and a woman is penultimate; marriage to Christ is ultimate. There is a gospel calling even higher than marriage-the calling of celibacy for the sake of gospel advance. See 1 cor 7:27-31; our age is full of gospel urgency. And no one knows when it will end. Paul makes us know that marriage and family absorb time and energy that could otherwise be spent in carrying out the Great commission. So God’s word here commends singleness as a preferred lifestyle, not simply as a fall back plan if one’s hopes for marriage don’t pan out. Before Christ came, singleness (and thus barrenness) in the Old Testament was considered a curse, especially for a woman. But in the New Testament, singleness is not only acceptable but also a  blessed state of existence when Christ is honoured as the ultimate bridegroom and where spiritual children are produced as covenant offspring by means of discipleship.

We also have singleness by gifting. Those who “burn” with a strong desire for sexual intimacy should not attempt a celibate lifestyle (1 Cor 7:9). Paul says “I wish all were as I myself am (Celibate); but each has his own gift from God, one of one kind, and one of another (V.7). if you have the gift of celibacy you know. Your sexual passions, while not completely dormant, do not drive your life in the same ways as they do your other single friends. Illicit sexual desire has never been a significant struggle for you. This, we believe, is a rare and special gift- a divinely given ability to live happily without the companionship and sexual gratification of marriage with this you know that singleness is not a curse; but an opportunity. Whether marriage is something such a single hope for or is less concerned about the one who applies scriptures will use this single lifestyle to serve Jesus. That is Paul’s vision.

Celibacy can also be considered as fasting; which heightens our spiritual senses; diminishes the background noise of life and brings to the fore all the things we can take for granted. The season of divinely appointed fasting can last for months, years or even a lifetime. If you don’t have a proper theology of fasting, then you are going to get upset with God when he causes one of your appetites to go unsatisfied. You will believe he is starving you. God disciplines us because he loves us (Heb 12:6). He’s not out to rob you of joy but to lead you into it.

So, if you are unhappily single, please remember that God is for you in Christ Jesus. Neither life nor death nor anything in all of creation-even singleness-can separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord (Rom 8:38-39). He knows you are hungry. But he has chosen, at least for now, not to satisfy your hunger, and he has done so for an infinitely good reason- that you might turn to him in deep dependence. His plan for you, for this season is your singleness. And while he may not have granted you the gift of singleness, his grace is sufficient to sustain you through the fast.

Understanding the Biblical perspective on sexual desire

Scripture tells us that sexual desire is controllable and is not to be released indiscriminately toward just anyone. We need to arouse our sexual desire only within the context of marriage. We need to show emotional purity because sexual desire is first emotional before it is mental or physical. The emotion comes as lust and scriptures say it is as destructive to God’s image as sins of the flesh (Matt 5:28).

Desire is not sin from Biblical perspective, but it becomes sin when we desire the wrong thing or at a wrong time. It is like shooting a gun- it all depends on what you’re shooting at. So when we direct our sexual desire toward someone who is not our spouse, we have moved into sin.

Jesus makes us know that the desire to commit sin is itself a sin. The man who refrains from murder but hates his brother in his heart is guilty of murder (Matt 5:21-22). In the same way the man who desires to commit adultery yet refrains from it is still guilty of adultery in his heart.  The prohibition against lust is not for the sake of the spouse but rather for the sake of sexual purity itself as it relates to the image of God, specifically Christ and the church.

Many people have a misconception that lust involves some sort of sexual fantasy or an exercise of the mind. But according to Christ, lust takes place in the heart, not the mind, and a person can lust without allowing himself or herself to succumb to a sexual fantasy. Only a Christian can have a heart ruled by God that desires only what it should. Sexual desire is not an appetite of the body which is uncontrollable as hunger and thirst. We must not define sexual arousal as strictly an act of the body; it is a passion of the heart. The fact that we are told to control it is clear indication that we can control it (Songs 2:7)

Though sexual desire is felt in the body, its command centre is in our will, our parson. We, not our bodies are in control of our sexual desires. You may want to use Biological factors of sexual arousal, but note that the autonomous nervous system (ANS) is not controlled by our environment but by our perception of the environment’s effect on our well-being. Eg. When adrenaline flows after seeing an accident beside us, it is not the accident that causes the ANS to respond, but, rather, our ANS responds to the perception that the accident could potentially threaten our well-being.

So when we are firmly convinced that sexual immorality is harmful to our well-being, it loses its grip on us and does not awaken within us sexual desire. Such conviction takes great faith and it grows as we embrace the unseen reality of Christ above and beyond what is immediately satisfying.

Do we believe the path of the adulteress leads to death (Prov 7:10,27)? Do we believe that God will judge the sexually immoral who do not repent (Heb 13:4; Rev 21:8)? We must not just believe that the ways of Christ are best; we must know that his ways are best. That knowledge comes from our personal experience with Christ himself.

Falling in Love Once  (Songs 2:7;3:5)

We must make wise choices on how and when to give away your heart. Scriptures make us know that we must not awaken romantic love in ourselves or others until such love can seek legitimate fulfilment within the marriage relationship.

Note the passionate language Solomon’s bride describes her desire for her husband (read Songs 2:3-7) She ends by charging the young maidens attending to her: “Do not arouse or awaken love,” she says, “until it so desires.” Being afraid that the arousal of her passions would likewise arouse the passions of the young women attending her, Solomon’s bride exhorts the young women not to arouse or awaken their sexual, romantic passions until “love so desires.” Love so desires: here love is personified. Love must give permission and in the case of Solomon’s bride love has granted permission to be awaken because the bride has reached a place in life where sexual, romantic love can be rightly consummated.

So, the arousal of our sexual, romantic passions within a relationship that has no declared intention of moving toward marriage is misguided. It’s like spending every weekend at a car dealer-shop when you have no money. And you are twelve.

The enjoyment of food and material possessions is fine. But too much of a good thing, or a good thing at the wrong time, becomes a bad thing. Similarly, Romantic desire was designed by God to propel us toward sexual desire, and sexual desires was designed to propel us toward sexual activity. The man who intends chastity but romances every girl he dates is in trouble. Romantic attention is an invitation for a deeper level of intimacy. When a man romances a woman, he is attempting to gain access to that part of her which is reserved exclusively for her lover. When he brings her flowers and chocolates and jewellery and tells her how pretty she is, he isn’t looking to be just friends. So, do not get to this when you are not ready to satisfy. To satisfy, you must be in marriage. So be careful what you do when dating. In a date you are just friends and your boundaries must be well respected. Finally, to romantically woo a woman, or to give your heart away to a man, prior to a marriage commitment is to paint an unclear picture of Christ and the church.

Dating Friendships

A dating friendship is “two friends getting to know each other with a view toward marriage”. It is a precursor to a marriage proposal without romance, sexual overtones that often accompany a typical dating relationship. Four things are crucial to any couple exploring the possibility of marriage.

   1)      The two parties must agree to maintain the boundaries of the neighbour relationship as concern sexual purity (1Cor 7:1-9; Songs 2:1-7). They must show accountability by

a.       Having separate godly, grace-filled accountability partners who are open to evaluate their dating friendship

b.       Avoid spending time alone at each other’s apartment. Don’t hang out alone in a car. Keep the lights on. Make no provision for the flesh (Rom 13:14)

c.       Look outward. You are trying to know each other so look at the world around you. Your marriage one day should be used for others not only you. That is to cultivate a missional edge.

d.       Begin at the right time. Start dating friendship only when you know you are in a position (or soon to be in a position) to get married. Why should a college student start dating?

Also not that though it’s a dating friendship, the emotional and sexual pull can become problematic if the relationship lasts too long. Be friends. Hang out in groups. Have a great time. But trust God’s plan for relationships and wait until you are ready for marriage before you begin to look for a spouse.

e.       Keep it short. Because you are both at a place in life where it is appropriate to marry, six to eighteen months seems about right. If you wait longer purity becomes increasingly more challenging. If you are still uncertain after eighteen months, it’s an indication that something is wrong in the relationship.

f.        Keep your engagement short. It exists for one purpose only-to pan a wedding. Too many Christian couples are sacrificing their purity on the altar of a perfect wedding day. Once she says yes, it’s beeline time.

   2)      Communicating clearly about one’s intentions.

The man owes the woman an explanation of his advances. If he’s not saying anything, it’s well within a woman’s right to inquire about a man’s intentions. She must gauge the wisdom of investing in the relationship.

   3)      Viewing dating as an activity rather than a category of relationship.

Dating is something they do rather than something they are. This helps to maintain the truth that all unmarried men and women must relate under the purity guidelines in the neighbour relationship.

   4)      Considering a relationship’s exclusivity as voluntary (self-imposed)

So in a dating friendship each person is free to choose to be exclusive throughout the duration of the relationship. The relationship itself cannot demand it. Thus it seems wise to us that a man and woman avoid using terms such as promise and commitment.

You may be saying that a dating friendship isn’t practical in today’s society. Since when do we determine truth based on practicality? Jesus encountered the same situation when teaching his disciples on divorce. The disciples were told that divorce was permissible only for marital unfaithfulness, they exclaimed “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry” (Matt 19:10). For them, Jesus’ teaching was not practical and too restricting because in those days a man could divorce his wife for almost any reason.

When a man is sure of marriage, he should spare no expense in securing her affection. Buy her flowers, tell her how beautiful her hair looks in the light, take her for fancy dinner, and buy her a ring. The time to bring on the romance is when you’re ready to bring on the ring.

Christ spared no expense in winning our affection. He laid it on the cross to unite to the church. Men, you are trying to win her as your wife, not as your girlfriend. So you are to woo the woman’s heart with respect to the sexual purity guidelines of the neighbour relationship. Desiring to marry a woman does not mean you are married to her. Help the woman to make the right decision. It’s not only your proposal that is the best. So don’t pour too much romance that will make her unable to see the reality for the roses. She may need some space to think carefully and prayerfully about what God wants for her (and you). Don’t make her say yes before you’ve asked her.