Living a life that is pleasing to God. 1 Thess 4:1-12

Paul wrote this letter to the new converts in Thessalonica; people who had been Christians for only few months. Paul tells them what God expects of new converts after their conversion to the Lord. The theme of this book comes from 1 Thess 3:8 “ For now we live, if you stand firm in the Lord”.

Notice that Paul did not stay long in Thessalonica on his initial visit as he went to Berea. The Thessalonians were converted out of a religious culture of idolatry that promoted fornication (1 Thess 1:9). So Paul wrote this letter from Corinth, to deal with some doctrinal problems concerning Christian behaviour.

Living a life that is pleasing to God is therefore central in Paul’s letter. You can only please God if you live after the principles of God’s will. Paul says, “ More than anything else, however, we want to please him, whether in our home here or there.” (2 Corinthians 5:9)

Is the Lord well-pleased with what you are doing? This question is important because the Scriptures reveal that we were created by God for His own pleasure (cf. Revelation 4:11 'for thou hast created all things, and for Thy pleasure they are and were created.') That is why God wants us to be transformed and to thus grow in the image of Christ. Because it is this particular image that pleases Him the most. When God can see the image of Christ being formed in you, He is pleased with what He sees. And you would have then fulfilled your role as God's creature - to bring great pleasure unto Him 

How pleased is God with the image of Christ in us? This can only be seen in the way God speaks of Christ in scriptures, 'This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.' One took place at the time that Christ was baptized (Matthew 3:17), and the other was at the time that Christ was transfigured (Matthew 17:5). Knowing how well pleased God the Father is with Christ, His only begotten Son, we must press on to bear the image of Christ in us. This is how we all can live a life pleasing unto God. 

And if you truly believe in Christ and are saved, you will have the desire to please the Lord in everything you do. Instead of living to please yourself, you will live to please God. Your attitudes and values change, your preferences, likes and dislikes will be different from before, when you are living to please the Lord.

The believer who is truly saved will live no longer to please himself, but to please God. A life that is well-pleasing to God will be the outcome of salvation, proving that it is a genuine salvation. Dearly beloved, are you living your life in a manner that is well-pleasing to God? Can God see the likeness of His only begotten Son in your life? Can He say of you, 'This is my beloved child in whom I am well-pleased?'

The passage begins: Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more.' As disciples of Jesus, one must continue to grow. As Christians walk by faith, they continue to mature toward the image of Christ. Let us look at those ways we must please God in:

I.            In Moral Purity

This is mentioned in vv.3-4 'For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honour,' The sexual immorality  refers to all forms of sexual sin: pre-marital sex, prostitution, adultery, incest and homosexual relationships. The world we live in is getting more permissive than ever before. A survey taken a few years ago among university students revealed that up to 60 % think that premarital sex is all right. They say that everybody is doing it, and that it is a very natural thing to do, just like animals who do it by instinct.

Sexual sins are even being promoted widely by popular media and behavioural scientists. They are trying to teach that true happiness is found outside monogamous faithful marriage and recommend that more should have affairs. The gay movement is striving for rights to have homosexual marriages, adopt children, and to have school textbooks rewritten to include and even recommend their lifestyle as an acceptable option.

The only cure is to go back to the Bible. The Bible teaches us that any sexual pleasure must be enjoyed only within the context of marriage. Any sexual pleasure that is derived outside of marriage is outside of God’s plan. The sad thing is that sexual sins are found not only among non-believers, but also among Christians! While they should be the ones who are seeking to please God, they displease Him instead by having an affair with someone. It will not surprise me if I discover that any of you are our within you people are having sexual affairs. I only pity those but it is happening.


sexual sin displeases God and in fact, it brings down His wrath because of disobedience (Ephesians 5:6). God wants us to take such a serious view of sexual sin, that we should even consider lustful thoughts and desires as sinful! A mind that is filled with such thoughts is not the mind of Christ. What if my thoughts were projected on a screen for people to see? Note that God sees your thoughts.
This is mentioned in v.5 of our text which says, ‘not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;' The word  Passion or concupiscence here means craving, longing or desiring what is forbidden. There are some who say that indulging one's lust is normal and harmless so long as the acts imagined in one's mind are not carried out. It is a fact that every act of sexual immorality always begins with immoral thoughts. Therefore, we must flee from these lusts. Don't let your mind swallow anything that will cause temptation. Deliberately avoid the thing, the person, the place, or the activity that sets the stage for temptation. 

If you want to please God you must be careful with media (magazines, books, films, TV shows and internet). Flee from pornography!  Sometimes you may be tempted to satisfy your curiosity to know about these things, thinking that this is all right as long as you do not commit them. But before you knows it, you will find yourself drawn deeper into sin.

If you want to live a life pleasing to God, you must keep clear of anything that will stir up sexual thoughts and feelings. Do not give that 'second look.' I have made a covenant with my eyes;
how then could I gaze at a virgin?' (Job 31:1). Follow Joseph's example: When Potiphar's wife tried to seduce him, what did he do? He did not stay there a moment longer, but ran away!
And whenever such temptations come, let us remember the words of v.7 of our text: ‘For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness.' God has specially called you to be morally clean in all your thoughts, words and actions as he calls you to offer yourself as living sacrifice, acceptable to his service and pleasing to God (Romans 12:1)

Please do not despise your special calling, for by doing that you would end up not pleasing God but despising Him! V.8 tells us 'He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us His holy Spirit.' We move on now to another aspect in which we should seek to please God, and that is:

II.           In Brotherly love

Verse 9 tells us ‘Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another,' The word for 'brotherly love' here is philadelphia. This word was often used to describe the mutual love and affection that exists between family members, such as parents and children, husbands and wives. And so, this verse is saying that the love that Christians should have toward one another in the Body of Christ should be like the love that members in a close-knit family have for one another. I call this family relationship. This love prohibits sexual activity (eros).

It is for this reason that Christians are called 'brethren' (as Paul addresses the Thessalonians in 4:1) this term means 'brothers and sisters.' Those who are so closely related should not have to be told to love one another. It should be something that comes very naturally.

That is why Paul did not have to elaborate further on how the Thessalonian Christians should love one another and he says in v.9, 'you yourselves are taught of God to love one another.' There are many practical ways of showing love for one another, e.g. giving to help those who are in need, expressing warm appreciation and thanks, enquiring after the welfare of others, comforting those who are in sorrow, correcting those who are going astray, and forgiving those who have offended you. 

Brotherly love is not a love cannot be hidden. If you look at v.10 you will see that Paul knew about the brotherly love that the Thessalonian Christians had for their brethren in Macedonia. This refers to the churches at Philippi and Berea. Even though these cities were quite far from Thessalonica, the Thessalonians apparently travelled all the way to them to see how they could be of help to them in practical ways.

Many of us today say brother, sister but we tear them down with our mouths and gossips. we give lip service because we hide information from them but we say they are brethren. We are unable to correct them when they do wrong and we claim they are brethren: that is not love!

So dearly beloved, let us all put our Christian love into action. Be sensitive to the needs of fellow Christians around you and be ready to love them with the love of Christ. Go out of your way for those who are in need. For by doing that you are in effect doing the same to our Lord Himself. Jesus said, 'Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these My brethren, ye have done it unto Me.' (Matthew 25:40) There is no better way to please our Lord than to show brotherly love one for another. It really brings out the likeness of Christ who loved us with more than brotherly love. See how Paul expresses his joy and God’s reaction in Philippians 4:18 (read)
Now thus far we have seen two aspects in which we ought to seek to please God: In Moral Purity and in Brotherly Love. Let us go on now to the third aspect which is given in vv.11-12:

III.         In Earning an Honest Living

‘And to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.' Making an honest living is oftentimes not easy in the world we live in, where the prevailing trend is to make a living by any possible means, honest or not. 

Some time last year there was a case of a bank teller who embezzled funds for himself from fixed deposit accounts by forging signatures of the customers. I know him and I visited him in jail. The children were hurt and the wife as well. Some fabricate services with too much money, others fake measures or falsify reports or estimates just because they want to earn more. Cheating and dishonesty not only hurts others, but also displeases God.

Another means of making a living that displeases God is gambling. People who gamble often dream of that chance in a million of striking it rich overnight, and making huge fortunes merely by risking a small amount of money. And when times are bad and people are not able to get a job, the temptation sometimes comes to 'try your luck' so to speak. Please do not give in to such temptation. If you have been secretly or openly playing with jackpot machines, Xbet, parifoot, PMUC please realise that God is not at all pleased and will not bless your income. You will lose whatever you win.

Another means that we should never use, is to live off the earnings of others. This was a persistent problem among the Thessalonian Christians. There were some members who refused to work, but who lived off the hard earned income of other members in the church. They were idlers who were neither sick or invalid, but were able-bodied people. Instead of working, they spent their time gossipping loudly, and sticking their nose into other other people's affairs.

This is why Paul wrote to them, 'that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands' (v.11). In the second epistle to the Thessalonians, Paul wrote about them again, 'if any would not work, neither should he eat.' (2 Thessalonians 3:10). The exception of course are those who want to work but are unable to work, because of illness or a home quarantine order. But even those who have been blessed with a huge windfall, should not think to themselves that they can now retire early and do nothing. They should be gainfully employed and not idling around. 'Idle hands are the devil's workshop'.
Now that we have seen three aspects of life where we must walk pleasing to God, (Moral purity, Brotherly Love and Earning an Honest Living) there is one more thing we must take note of in this passage about pleasing God. If you really are serious about wanting to please God, you should not only be doing these things, but trying all the time to do more and to do better. 

This is brought out in two verses: v.1 'Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more.' As well as v.10 'And indeed ye do it toward all the brethren which are in all Macedonia: but we beseech you, brethren, that ye increase more and more'

Many of you here are already applying all the three aspects of pleasing God in your life. In moral purity, you have successfully been faithful in your marriage or your singleness. In brotherly love, you have done many good things to help others. In earning a living, you have done it all by honest hard work. All that is very well and good. But there is always room for improvement. And if your heart's desire is truly to please the Lord, you will not be satisfied with what you have already done. You will strive to do better than that and keep on growing into the image of Christ!

It is time for you to make a commitment to grow more and more. Whatever level you have already attained in your walk with God, seek to get on to a higher level. There are still things in your life that are not pleasing to God. From what we have learned from God’s word there are areas of your life that needs prayer and diligent effort, so that the image of Christ will become clearer in your life. Think of the words that God spoke concerning Christ, 'This is my beloved Son in whom I am well-pleased.'
We shall look at sex, dating and relationship. But have you been engaged in illicit sex? Have you been having passionate kissing with someone with whom you are not married? Have you been having fondling or mutual masturbation even with the one you say you are dating? God is not pleased with you. I invite you to get into prayer as we close this section. Tell God exactly how you feel. Tell him what you intend to do with that sin.

Note that no one can please God without faith. “No one can please God without faith, for whoever comes to God must have faith that God exists and rewards those who seek him.” (Hebrews 11:6).

Purity as a Lifestyle, Not Just as a Dating thing (1 Cor 6:12)

If you intentionally want to live a life of purity, Christ must take his role over your life. You must be conscious about

   1)      Modesty in dress. Does my outfit draw attention to my sexuality? Does it help protect the image of God within me? Will this outfit make it difficult for me or those around me not to “arouse or awaken love” before its proper time?

   2)      Entertainment choices. We must limit our boundaries in entertaining ourselves because some media are places for sexual temptation; whether in music, movies and television.

   3)      The internet should be regulated with filters. You can’t do this without grace and help. Find someone to pray with you, to encourage you, and to keep you accountable.

   4)      Masturbation. You must exercise self-control and do away with the sin of lust that gives birth to self-gratification in masturbation.

   5)      Flirting which runs against the grain of the monogamy that will later be required in a Christian marriage.

God’s view of singleness (1Cor 7:38)

Single people are called to celibacy. What we mean is that singles are called to abstain from marriage and sexual relations. We base our argument on 1 Cor 7:1-9 and 1Tim 5:2 as well as the typological relationship between human sexuality and the gospel (Eph 5:21-33).

Many youths today long for marriage and others are not seeing any possibility to get life partners. The sense of longing and pain many singles feel is something that only others singles can truly identify with. As Solomon says, “The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares it joy” (Prov 14:10).

One can be single by choice. 1 Cor 7:25-40 reminds us that marriage is only a type and shadow, a picture of a higher reality. Marriage between a man and a woman is penultimate; marriage to Christ is ultimate. There is a gospel calling even higher than marriage-the calling of celibacy for the sake of gospel advance. See 1 cor 7:27-31; our age is full of gospel urgency. And no one knows when it will end. Paul makes us know that marriage and family absorb time and energy that could otherwise be spent in carrying out the Great commission. So God’s word here commends singleness as a preferred lifestyle, not simply as a fall back plan if one’s hopes for marriage don’t pan out. Before Christ came, singleness (and thus barrenness) in the Old Testament was considered a curse, especially for a woman. But in the New Testament, singleness is not only acceptable but also a  blessed state of existence when Christ is honoured as the ultimate bridegroom and where spiritual children are produced as covenant offspring by means of discipleship.

We also have singleness by gifting. Those who “burn” with a strong desire for sexual intimacy should not attempt a celibate lifestyle (1 Cor 7:9). Paul says “I wish all were as I myself am (Celibate); but each has his own gift from God, one of one kind, and one of another (V.7). if you have the gift of celibacy you know. Your sexual passions, while not completely dormant, do not drive your life in the same ways as they do your other single friends. Illicit sexual desire has never been a significant struggle for you. This, we believe, is a rare and special gift- a divinely given ability to live happily without the companionship and sexual gratification of marriage with this you know that singleness is not a curse; but an opportunity. Whether marriage is something such a single hope for or is less concerned about the one who applies scriptures will use this single lifestyle to serve Jesus. That is Paul’s vision.

Celibacy can also be considered as fasting; which heightens our spiritual senses; diminishes the background noise of life and brings to the fore all the things we can take for granted. The season of divinely appointed fasting can last for months, years or even a lifetime. If you don’t have a proper theology of fasting, then you are going to get upset with God when he causes one of your appetites to go unsatisfied. You will believe he is starving you. God disciplines us because he loves us (Heb 12:6). He’s not out to rob you of joy but to lead you into it.

So, if you are unhappily single, please remember that God is for you in Christ Jesus. Neither life nor death nor anything in all of creation-even singleness-can separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord (Rom 8:38-39). He knows you are hungry. But he has chosen, at least for now, not to satisfy your hunger, and he has done so for an infinitely good reason- that you might turn to him in deep dependence. His plan for you, for this season is your singleness. And while he may not have granted you the gift of singleness, his grace is sufficient to sustain you through the fast.

Understanding the Biblical perspective on sexual desire

Scripture tells us that sexual desire is controllable and is not to be released indiscriminately toward just anyone. We need to arouse our sexual desire only within the context of marriage. We need to show emotional purity because sexual desire is first emotional before it is mental or physical. The emotion comes as lust and scriptures say it is as destructive to God’s image as sins of the flesh (Matt 5:28).

Desire is not sin from Biblical perspective, but it becomes sin when we desire the wrong thing or at a wrong time. It is like shooting a gun- it all depends on what you’re shooting at. So when we direct our sexual desire toward someone who is not our spouse, we have moved into sin.

Jesus makes us know that the desire to commit sin is itself a sin. The man who refrains from murder but hates his brother in his heart is guilty of murder (Matt 5:21-22). In the same way the man who desires to commit adultery yet refrains from it is still guilty of adultery in his heart.  The prohibition against lust is not for the sake of the spouse but rather for the sake of sexual purity itself as it relates to the image of God, specifically Christ and the church.

Many people have a misconception that lust involves some sort of sexual fantasy or an exercise of the mind. But according to Christ, lust takes place in the heart, not the mind, and a person can lust without allowing himself or herself to succumb to a sexual fantasy. Only a Christian can have a heart ruled by God that desires only what it should. Sexual desire is not an appetite of the body which is uncontrollable as hunger and thirst. We must not define sexual arousal as strictly an act of the body; it is a passion of the heart. The fact that we are told to control it is clear indication that we can control it (Songs 2:7)

Though sexual desire is felt in the body, its command centre is in our will, our parson. We, not our bodies are in control of our sexual desires. You may want to use Biological factors of sexual arousal, but note that the autonomous nervous system (ANS) is not controlled by our environment but by our perception of the environment’s effect on our well-being. Eg. When adrenaline flows after seeing an accident beside us, it is not the accident that causes the ANS to respond, but, rather, our ANS responds to the perception that the accident could potentially threaten our well-being.

So when we are firmly convinced that sexual immorality is harmful to our well-being, it loses its grip on us and does not awaken within us sexual desire. Such conviction takes great faith and it grows as we embrace the unseen reality of Christ above and beyond what is immediately satisfying.

Do we believe the path of the adulteress leads to death (Prov 7:10,27)? Do we believe that God will judge the sexually immoral who do not repent (Heb 13:4; Rev 21:8)? We must not just believe that the ways of Christ are best; we must know that his ways are best. That knowledge comes from our personal experience with Christ himself.

Falling in Love Once  (Songs 2:7;3:5)

We must make wise choices on how and when to give away your heart. Scriptures make us know that we must not awaken romantic love in ourselves or others until such love can seek legitimate fulfilment within the marriage relationship.

Note the passionate language Solomon’s bride describes her desire for her husband (read Songs 2:3-7) She ends by charging the young maidens attending to her: “Do not arouse or awaken love,” she says, “until it so desires.” Being afraid that the arousal of her passions would likewise arouse the passions of the young women attending her, Solomon’s bride exhorts the young women not to arouse or awaken their sexual, romantic passions until “love so desires.” Love so desires: here love is personified. Love must give permission and in the case of Solomon’s bride love has granted permission to be awaken because the bride has reached a place in life where sexual, romantic love can be rightly consummated.

So, the arousal of our sexual, romantic passions within a relationship that has no declared intention of moving toward marriage is misguided. It’s like spending every weekend at a car dealer-shop when you have no money. And you are twelve.

The enjoyment of food and material possessions is fine. But too much of a good thing, or a good thing at the wrong time, becomes a bad thing. Similarly, Romantic desire was designed by God to propel us toward sexual desire, and sexual desires was designed to propel us toward sexual activity. The man who intends chastity but romances every girl he dates is in trouble. Romantic attention is an invitation for a deeper level of intimacy. When a man romances a woman, he is attempting to gain access to that part of her which is reserved exclusively for her lover. When he brings her flowers and chocolates and jewellery and tells her how pretty she is, he isn’t looking to be just friends. So, do not get to this when you are not ready to satisfy. To satisfy, you must be in marriage. So be careful what you do when dating. In a date you are just friends and your boundaries must be well respected. Finally, to romantically woo a woman, or to give your heart away to a man, prior to a marriage commitment is to paint an unclear picture of Christ and the church.

Dating Friendships

A dating friendship is “two friends getting to know each other with a view toward marriage”. It is a precursor to a marriage proposal without romance, sexual overtones that often accompany a typical dating relationship. Four things are crucial to any couple exploring the possibility of marriage.

   1)      The two parties must agree to maintain the boundaries of the neighbour relationship as concern sexual purity (1Cor 7:1-9; Songs 2:1-7). They must show accountability by

a.       Having separate godly, grace-filled accountability partners who are open to evaluate their dating friendship

b.       Avoid spending time alone at each other’s apartment. Don’t hang out alone in a car. Keep the lights on. Make no provision for the flesh (Rom 13:14)

c.       Look outward. You are trying to know each other so look at the world around you. Your marriage one day should be used for others not only you. That is to cultivate a missional edge.

d.       Begin at the right time. Start dating friendship only when you know you are in a position (or soon to be in a position) to get married. Why should a college student start dating?

Also not that though it’s a dating friendship, the emotional and sexual pull can become problematic if the relationship lasts too long. Be friends. Hang out in groups. Have a great time. But trust God’s plan for relationships and wait until you are ready for marriage before you begin to look for a spouse.

e.       Keep it short. Because you are both at a place in life where it is appropriate to marry, six to eighteen months seems about right. If you wait longer purity becomes increasingly more challenging. If you are still uncertain after eighteen months, it’s an indication that something is wrong in the relationship.

f.        Keep your engagement short. It exists for one purpose only-to pan a wedding. Too many Christian couples are sacrificing their purity on the altar of a perfect wedding day. Once she says yes, it’s beeline time.

   2)      Communicating clearly about one’s intentions.

The man owes the woman an explanation of his advances. If he’s not saying anything, it’s well within a woman’s right to inquire about a man’s intentions. She must gauge the wisdom of investing in the relationship.

   3)      Viewing dating as an activity rather than a category of relationship.

Dating is something they do rather than something they are. This helps to maintain the truth that all unmarried men and women must relate under the purity guidelines in the neighbour relationship.

   4)      Considering a relationship’s exclusivity as voluntary (self-imposed)

So in a dating friendship each person is free to choose to be exclusive throughout the duration of the relationship. The relationship itself cannot demand it. Thus it seems wise to us that a man and woman avoid using terms such as promise and commitment.

You may be saying that a dating friendship isn’t practical in today’s society. Since when do we determine truth based on practicality? Jesus encountered the same situation when teaching his disciples on divorce. The disciples were told that divorce was permissible only for marital unfaithfulness, they exclaimed “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry” (Matt 19:10). For them, Jesus’ teaching was not practical and too restricting because in those days a man could divorce his wife for almost any reason.

When a man is sure of marriage, he should spare no expense in securing her affection. Buy her flowers, tell her how beautiful her hair looks in the light, take her for fancy dinner, and buy her a ring. The time to bring on the romance is when you’re ready to bring on the ring.

Christ spared no expense in winning our affection. He laid it on the cross to unite to the church. Men, you are trying to win her as your wife, not as your girlfriend. So you are to woo the woman’s heart with respect to the sexual purity guidelines of the neighbour relationship. Desiring to marry a woman does not mean you are married to her. Help the woman to make the right decision. It’s not only your proposal that is the best. So don’t pour too much romance that will make her unable to see the reality for the roses. She may need some space to think carefully and prayerfully about what God wants for her (and you). Don’t make her say yes before you’ve asked her.

THE DATING DELIMMA

The term dating has evolved over time. Unlike previous generations which understood the term dating to refer to something a guy and a girl did (ie. Going out on a date), the modern concept of dating often refers to something they are (ie. Boyfriend and girlfriend). We have created, apart from scripture, a fourth type of male-female relationship. In this, lies potential for great confusion, because when we create our category, we are forced to invent our own purity guidelines for that category. Many people think some level of sexual expression is permitted, but that sexual intercourse is out in dating. So they put dating somewhere between just friends and just married.

Note that the Bible is silent about sexual boundaries with in a dating relationship because God does not view a dating relationship as something distinct from the neighbour relationship. In as much as God has not prescribed explicitly the means by which we are to move from neighbour relationship to the marriage relationship (ie. Courting, dating, arranged marriages), he has clearly prescribed how he expects all men and women to act outside the marriage relationship.

So God’s standard of purity for a dating couple is the same as God’s standard for the neighbour relationship. Note that sex does not belong to us alone. Until we appreciate God’s authority over sex and purpose for sex, we will fail to make sense of it and struggle to steward it. We must not allow modern forms of courtship cloud God’s ideal for sex.

THE DELIMMA OF IT’S PERMANENT FOR NOW

In reality, a dating relationship is nothing more than a mirage, a relationship of smoke and mirrors that promises to be something more than it really is. Using a term such as commitment in the context of dating relationship stretches the normal usage of the word beyond the breaking point. When people talk of commitment in dating they mean they have agreed to date only each other. But this can end at any time for any reason (when one feels he or she cannot continue with the other, or that he or she feels they are not compatible etc).

unlike a dating relationship, the commitment and exclusivity of marriage is involuntary. It entails certain obligations and responsibilities that are irrevocable. When a man marries his bride, he gives up his right to choose any other woman. He is morally obliged to faithfully love his wife. But he did not have this obligation prior to marriage. In the end, the commitment of a dating relationship is simply a commitment to inform the other person of one’s intention to end his or her commitment before actually doing so.

Apart from marriage (or engagement) there can be no real promise, no assurance of mutual protection, and no real guarantee for abiding trust; neither party in a dating relationship has promised anything permanent.

The illusion of security usually puts the woman vulnerable. Because of the perception of security afforded by a dating relationship, a woman is inclined to give herself away sexually (even when this stops short of intercourse) in ways that she would not do with other men that she might be attracted to. Many women go through pain when a dating is terminated because of this false sense of safety. She goes through the pain of a divorce and she has never been married.

Many years ago, a man would court a woman to be his wife. But in our day, a man courts a woman to be his girlfriend. Girls, don’t give your heart away until you know what he plans to do with it. Men, stop being irresponsible. Don’t try to win a woman’s heart unless you plan on keeping it. Women; a man has nothing permanent to offer you apart from a marriage proposal. A declaration of attraction is not the basis for security. Dating relationships do not provide legitimate grounds for premature sexual expression, nor do they entail any measure of true security.

What makes sexual relations?

Sexual relations extend beyond sexual intercourse. Oral sex, fondling and mutual masturbation for example are all sexual activities. When we embrace the Biblical truth sexual relations must be reserved for marriage.

What about kissing?

Some forms of kissing are nonsexual. We kiss our children or our mothers. But some forms of kissing are reserved exclusively for our wives because they are sexual. If you think that passionate kissing is not sexual then consider this story:

Tom’s wife made a cake and told Tom not to eat it till the next day when they’ll celebrate their anniversary. Tom had his dinner and then went to the cake, cut a big slice and placed on his plate. He took bit after bit and chewed, then removed the crushed cake from his mouth and placed on the empty space on the cake. The wife came in and saw what Tom did. Then she asked Tom, “didn’t I tell you not to eat the cake today”? Tom replied “that’s just what I did. I didn’t have any eating relation with the cake because my definition of eating is to swallow. I only chewed and removed”.

What will you say from Tom’s response? Tom violated the instruction, tom knew what the wife meant when she said he should not eat the cake. He was not to touch the cake. Fondling, passionate kissing is sexual activity and should be reserved for marriage alone. Dating should remain in the neighbour relation; because no one is committed in dating. Any person can decide at any time that they cannot continue and it’ll end as friends; no heart is broken. Any sexual activity outside the Biblical bounds of sexual ethics is a sin. We can’t present ourselves “as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness (Rom 6:19). When Tom’s wife told him not to eat the cake, she meant “Leave it alone- don’t touch it” It is the same with the Bible’s teaching on sexual immorality.

We are not suggesting that passionate kissing is the same as sex, any more than Jesus, in his teaching on lust and adultery, meant to suggest that lust carries exactly the same consequences as adultery (Matt 5:27). Lust is of course a sexual sin.

SEX AND THE GOSPEL

Seeing earthly entities as pictures of divine realities is readily affirmed in much of scriptures. Rom 5:14 describes Adam as a type of Christ. A type represents something other than itself. So we are saying that Adam is a shadow, or an image of Christ. Exodus 11-12 also shows us that the Passover lamb is a type. Just as the children of Israel were delivered through the blood of a lamb, so too we are spared from God’s just judgement through the blood of Christ and are delivered out of the bondage of sin into the heavenly land of promise. Sex was also created by God to serve as a living witness to the gospel.

Eph 5:24-32 describes sexual relationship within marriage as an image of the spiritual relationship between Christ and the church. The treatment between husband and wife is paralleled to the relationship of Christ with the church. Marriage is more than sex, but it’s not less than sex. The book of Revelation refers to the wedding supper of the lamb as inaugurating the dawn of the eternal age (Rev 19:7;21:2,9;22:17; Matt 25:1-13).

The question is which came first? God did not pattern the divine marriage after human marriage, but rather human marriage is a foreshadowing of the divine marriage. It’s not as though God discovered the connection between sex and the gospel the way a Pastor reads through books and journals. No, the connection was purposed before the foundation of the world. As Paul tells us in 1Cor 6:16, the sexual oneness of marriage refers to Christ and the church.

The good news of salvation is not simply that God has forgiven us but rather, that through our union with Christ we are born again into his very life- we have become shares of his nature (2 Pet 1:4). Through our union with Christ, his life becomes our own. We are born again because we have been united to the one who is life itself. This needs transformation. While we are forgiven and the slate is wiped, we need to be transformed.

So God’s major intent in creating sex was that it serves as a living witness of the spiritual oneness between Christ and the Church. Viewing sexuality from this framework not only explains how we should act but also why we should act a certain way. You can now understand why Paul argues that we must not unite ourselves sexually to a prostitute, because we have become united spiritually to Christ (1Cor 6:15-17).

But our spiritual oneness with Christ does not prevent us from having sex with our spouse (1 Cor 7:5). Sex with a prostitute is forbidden because it breaks the picture of Christ’s single-minded connection and devotion to his bride. Just as Christ reserves himself spiritually for his spouse (the church), so too we are called to reserve ourselves sexually for our husband or wife. So our sexual behaviour most conform to what God has created sex to illustrate: the life-changing nature of the gospel. Monogamy and permanency are vital aspects of this image.

Christ has purposed to become one with the church alone. Accordingly, singles must reserve their sexuality for their future spouses as an expression of Christ’s single-minded devotion to his own. So, as we study sexual purity, we must remember that every part of us, including our sexuality, has a higher purpose than merely our own pleasure, for every part of us was created primarily to image forth the glory of God. Life has a higher purpose than our autonomous satisfaction.

PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES IN DATING (1Tim 5:1-2)

Many people think the Bible does not speak clearly on the issue of physical boundaries in dating. But God has set boundaries as you can see in 1Tim 5:1-2 to encourage or rebuke younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity. God has ordained three categories of Male-female relationships.

Family Sexual relations prohibited	Neighbour Sexual relations prohibited	Marriage Sexual relations Commanded
See Lev 18:6;26-28 God did not ban it until the giving of the law. That’s why we find the relation of Abraham and his half-sister (Gen 20:11-12), Lot and the daughters (Gen 19:31-36), Jacob who married two sisters (Gen 29:23-28) and presumably Cain, Abel and Seth, as well as Noah’s sons, all married blood relations	See 1 Cor 7:7-9 Those who have a strong desire for sexual intimacy (burn with passion) should fulfil that desire within the context of a marriage relationship. No sexual relation outside of marriage	See 1 Cor 7:3-5 It is not only permissible but commanded. Marriage couples are not to abstain from sexual relations

Genuine Worshipers put God’s plan first Haggai 1:1-11

There are many people here who have built a house for themselves. Building a house is a great project especially when your constraints are the number of people who will live in the house and what you’ll do with the space. If you want to get a building project going, just start it. When you want to make all the calculations, you may be discouraged; that’s why they call it estimate because it’s not exact. Especially when it’s God’s project; we need to depend on God not on our calculations, how we will get it and the timing because we do not have tomorrow.

After returning from the Babylonian captivity, Haggai was given a prophecy by God to rebuild the temple in Jerusalem.

   1.       Genuine worship eliminates all distractions (vs 1-2)

Haggai spoke to Zerubbabel and Joshua the son of Jozadak, the high Priest. God had already terminated the kings of Israel so Zerubbabel who’s called the son of Pedaiah in 1 Chr 3:19 through the Levirate marriage is also the legal son of Shealtiel. so he is a legal descendant from the Davidic linage.  But he was not considered as King. But God did use him to illustrate King Jesus who would come in the future of the remnant (Haggai 2:20-23). So Zerubbabel is used as a type of King Jesus who would come and rebuild the true temple of God which is in our hearts.

Why did the Jews delay in building the temple when they returned? The Lord says to them, “These people say: The time has not come for the house of the Lord to be rebuilt.”

Note the context:

-          The Samaritans had fought against the reestablishment of the Jews in the land.

-          Others assume that the Jews believed that the 70 years of exile had not actually been completed. So all these made them to think that it was a sign from God not to rebuild the temple.

They were distracted with the troubles with the Samaritans. Today your distraction may be the coronavirus pandemic that started here in Cameroon in march 2020. This has caused many companies and churches to postpone some of their activities and projects including us here. It may be other problems you have at home. You say you have not yet recovered from the crisis. Or you have other plans and you are wondering what to give for the house of worship. Listen to what delayed the Jews. They were focused on their own material stability before looking at God’s plan.

   2.     Genuine worship is focused on God and his plan (vs 3-6)

The people were seeking their own kingdom first, rather than the kingdom of God (Mt 6:25-34). They wanted to prosper themselves before they gave their material and labours to rebuild the temple. They were more concerned about the material things and their installation in the land before re-establishing the symbol that represented God among the returnees.

Are we different from them today? People complain about giving left and right; they say “I also have a project at home which is not yet completed”. I do have one too. Should it stop you from building the house of worship? Some are thinking of building their children, buy some clothes for their wives first, getting a car first, getting a bigger job first, some have other projects first. See what God says in verse 6 “You have planted much but harvested little. You eat but never have enough to be satisfied. You drink but never have enough to become drunk. You put on clothes but never have enough to get warm. The wage earner puts his wages into a bag with a hole in it.”

God is not prospering your labours in the land because you have neglected him. You are trying your best in your power but it is not satisfying; you are still in need and wanting. God says “Consider your ways”. Think carefully about your ways, and get into action.

   3.     Genuine worship is in action (yes worship in spirit and in truth) (vs 7-11)

Vs 8 says “Go up into the hills, bring down lumber, and build the house. Then I will be pleased with it and be glorified,” says the Lord.”

Go up and bring the wood, bring the sand, bring the cement and the concrete and build the house. God says, it will please Him and He will be glorified. Do you see why you should not miss giving for God’s building project? It brings glory to God. That is genuine worship in action with little talking but doing the talk. God sees the heart.

Your labours in the field are not bringing forth fruit because you neglected labouring for God in the temple work. There are people who are uncomfortable in the church or on the kind of benches we have because their homes are more comfortable and God says you should do something. Do something! Why should you be running to your own house while my house is in ruins? (vs 9)

God may be bringing drought to your life so that it stimulates a response. Did you see how people reacted when covid19 started killing? Many people started thinking about God, preachers intensified their messages. May be the trouble you have today is because God wants you to consider your ways and get into action.

God wants you to worship him with your material, not only your mouth. Yes, with your money. He says He will be glorified in that house of worship because it pleases Him. Brethren, consider your ways and if necessary change the money you had planned in your pocket for God’s glory.

Let me close with these words of Paul to the Corinthian church “Now the One who provides seed for the sower and bread for food will provide and multiply your seed and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way for all generosity, which produces thanksgiving to God through us. For the ministry of this service is not only supplying the needs of the saints, but is also overflowing in many acts of thanksgiving to God. They will glorify God for your obedience to the confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with others through the proof provided by this service.” (2 Cor 9:10-13).

Give in a way that will generate worship to God. Others glorify God for your act of generosity. And generosity is also an obedience to the confession of the gospel of Christ.

Shalom!

Genuine worshipers are true to themselves and recognise the kingship of Jesus Christ ( Luke 19 :28-40)

Many religious people today are worshiping according to their own inventions. But if we worship God according to the doctrines and commandments of men, we worship God in vain. Jesus said “And in vain they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men” (Mk 7:7). We need to know God and His will if we must worship Him in Spirit and truth (John 4:23). You can understand why Paul addressed the Athenians in Acts 17:23 “The one whom you worship without knowing, Him I proclaim to you”. We’ll concentrate on the kingship of Jesus Christ as he entered Jerusalem in his last days on earth.

Jesus had just finished telling the people the parable of the gold coins where the one with the one coin after the return of the master was deprived of the single coin and given to the one who had ten coins because of his stewardship which also applies to the stewardship of our souls. After telling them this, He went on to Jerusalem and at the mount of Olives he sent the disciples to get a colt that has never been ridden.

   1.       Jesus is master and all knowing (vs 29-34)

He knew what the disciples will see ahead of them and what the owner will ask. Jesus gave them the response of the one who is Lord and master of the universe. I believe the man knew the master needed the donkey. He also knew the master otherwise he would have asked who is the master. The man didn’t resist the request because he knew who the master was. Do you know the master? Are you ready to hand it over to the master?

The man handed over the donkey. Today God wants you to hand over your heart to him in obedience. If you hand your heart to the master, you’ll worship him in spirit and in truth. Your worship will come from your heart not the mouth nor drums or atmosphere but at all times and everywhere worship will flow from your heart.

You’ll be able to worship God in giving even to the construction project of the church because the master needs it. It doesn’t matter the situation in which we are, worship will flow from those who know God.

He knows everything, your past, present and future. Why can’t you confide in Jesus? The disciples went to the village and found everything just as Jesus said. He is omniscient and you can’t hide from him, so give your life to him so that you can worship him everywhere; alone or in public without shame or fear, even in the presence of your enemies just like Gideon did in the camp of the enemies (Judges 7:15).

   2.       He was courageous to live the truth (35-37)

In his final week Jesus wanted all to know without doubt that he was Jesus the Christ, the son of the living God, the one who is worthy of our worship. So he took the great courage to enter Jerusalem like a king sitting on a donkey after the tension he had in the last years of his ministry with religious leaders. It takes courage to live out the truth in your life despite all opposition, shame, attacks, sickness, troubles or whatsoever even coronavirus. Live the truth, don’t just speak it but live it without fear. Jesus did even though he knew he will be killed for who he was. He was not afraid to enter Jerusalem in hiding but he entered on a donkey with a crowd shouting for Him.

   3.       Jesus boldly claimed to be the Messiah (vs 35)

In fulfilment of Zechariah 9:9, the king is coming riding on a donkey. He was coming as the prince of peace who rules the heart of men, not like a warrior. He was coming to save; that is the Messiah.

If Jesus was contented with just being a prophet or any other title, he would have lived to a good old age. But that was not his goal; but to be truthful, that’s why those who worship him must do so in spirit and in truth. But because He claimed to be the Christ, the saviour, the Messiah, He started his journey to the cross.

Throughout scriptures Jesus travelled everywhere he went by foot. He never rode on anything but just for the last two miles of his trip to Jerusalem he asks for a donkey which had never been ridden before. It was not because Jesus was tired but because he wanted to pass the message. In First Samuel 6:7 two cows that have never been yoked were to carry the ark of the Lord’s covenant, now Jesus is to ride on a colt that has never been ridden because he was bringing the new covenant that’ll be made in his blood because He is the Messiah. Can you see the parallel? He knew where He was going.

   4.       The crowd responded in praises (vs 38-40)

The disciples throw their cloaks over the donkey for Christ to sit on. People spread their cloaks and tree branches on the road as he rode on. Jesus was given the red carpet ushering as the king of Kings. Others took palm branches and went forth to meet Jesus as the apostle John says in John 12:13. They shouted “God bless the king who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”

There were some people around who didn’t want Jesus to be worshiped. The Pharisees were there. They said “Teacher, command your disciples to be quiet”. Jesus replied “I tell you, if they were to keep silent, the stones would cry out!”. They were not to keep silent, but if they were to, something else will shout because he is the God who gives life and the spirit. Even stones will do it in worship to the creator.

Is anyone asking you to keep quiet before the king of kings? Is anyone asking you not to worship the Lord our God? Will you give true praise and worship to God or you’ll be like the Pharisees or like those who’ll turn and say crucify him?

Conclusion:

If you truly know who God is, you’ll worship him in spirit and in truth. You’ll not be influenced by music, by people around you not even by the problems around us. But if you have never had an encounter with Jesus, or you don’t know when you ever received Christ in your life, you are wasting your time here. You are just like the Pharisees or those who shouted Hosanna in the highest and turned back to say crucify him. You are worshiping in vain even though you’re here today. It’s time for you to give your life to Christ. Thank God that coronavirus has come to remind us of how the end times may look like. It will be worse than this, but after death, where will you be? Swimming in the lake of fire or with the king of kings? It’s time you bow your head and make things right with God.

To you who have believed:

·         God is Holy Spirit, so worship him in the holiness of your spirit (Is 1:15,16)

·         God is benevolent spirit, so worship him with a spirit of gratitude and thanksgiving (Ps 100:1,2)

·         God reigns over all things, worship him in reverence and awe (Is 6:1-5, Rev 1:12-18)

·         God is spirit of wisdom and intelligence, so worship him in totality of your mental ability (Mt 15:5,6)

·         God cannot be seen with eyes of men, so worship him in faith (Ex 20:4,5, 2Cor 5:7)

·         God is loving, worship him with a spirit of love for him and fellow worshipers (Mt 5:23-24)

·         God is a forgiving spirit, worship him with a forgiving spirit (Mt 6:14,15)

·         God is a fatherly spirit, worship like a child who trust and depend upon the Father of our spirit (Mt 6:9, Hb 12:19)

Knowing who God is and how you can worship God, I trust you’ll adjust your pockets to truly worship God with your giving for the church project starting from your heart.