Responsibility of Parents (Deut 6 :4-7)

Happy mother’s day ! How many mothers are here this morning? You are a mother because you have a child. You are a mother because you have a responsibility. Children are a gift from God (Ps 127:3) They are like arrows and happy is the man who has many (Ps127:5). If you are not a parent, at least you are a child and so God wants you to take your responsibility. It is the responsibility of parents to train their children just as the children have the responsibility to obey their parents and help their parents. That is what they are supposed to do and so parents are like discipling their children in all things.

That means your child can only be like you for luke 6:40 says the disciple is not more than the master, but can only be as good as the master. Being a parent is not enough to deliver. It is more than that! You need to guide and direct the child. That is what makes you a parent. You need to know the child’s friends whom you can allow and those you discourage; if they are dangerous to the life of your child. If parents fail in their responsibility to raise their children in godly manner, the next generation after us will be a terrible world to live in. we’ll not want to raise thieves. Do we?

We would not like to be parents of

-          Homosexuals

-          ‘Mbanga’ or marijuana smokers

-          Drug addicts

-          Fornicators No! But if we really do not want that, then we need to take our responsibility as parents.

There are many of us who are just happy that we have children. We are parents! The question is how parent are you? Are you really parenting your child? If you are not providing all that the child needs then you are not a parent. You are not better than animals and let me tell you that even animals take care of their young ones.

How can we train or raise our children?

1.      Build the character of the child

a.       Your child must understand sin and the need for a savior. That is the way you have to train your child. The way is to Christ; so that when they grow they will not depart from it.

b.      Moses commanded that the word of God be taught diligently to your children (Deut 6:6-7) Talk about God always to your children. In the morning, during the day and in the night.

Family devotion is your tool and the father as the head of the family should lead this devotion (Eph 5:23) read!

The mother is not exempted because she must lead when the husband is not available. In your teaching:

-          Sing

-          Read

-          Meditate on the Bible

-          Pray

-          Memorize scriptures.

These are the ways you can train your children. Your child can only be like you and so you must influence them by doing these yourself and practicing what the Bible says.

2.      Direct their performance (Let them have a focus in life)

From the tender age you need to instruct and direct your child because the child will be difficult to change when old. There’s an adage which says “You cannot bend and old tree”.

a.       Direct and make them used to Christian work and help them to love doing it to their abilities (2 Thess 3:10-12)

b.      Make them to be hard working, let them not slack for lazy hands become poor (Prov 10:4) rd

c.       Give them responsibilities and help them to achieve it without punishing but encouraging (Eph 6:4). Do not allow your child to idle. Idle children will only pray for their parents to die so that they inherit wealth. When this wealth disappear they become thieves and rebels in the society. Prov 26:24 tells us that wealth can be volatile.

3.      Take time alone to talk with your children and show them love

a.      Every child has his needs different from the others

b.      Appreciate them, correct and rebuke in love to handle issues in their life before they grow old.

I do my best to make sure that my children are with me during the holidays and I try my best to study them, play with them and teach them. That way I try to identify things to correct in them and the focus their energy in the things I want them to grow in.

I make sure I direct the interest if the children to those things I want them to like. This can only be possible when the child is young. There are some children who will not want to learn but when you make them see the interest they become very good and intelligent.

No child is born foolish but if you allow the child the child can grow foolish. There are some who will continue to listen to you even when they become big because of the impact to bestow on them. The young Guy from India who visited us last week is an example of a child I impacted values in. even at his master’s degree in actuarial science he still writes to me from abroad to ask for advice when he has to take decisions in his studies. 

4.      Discipline the children when they disobey your instructions

a.       To discipline is to correct, to educate and train so that they can grow and change.

b.      It is not only by punishment but also to instruct so that the person become discipline. When they says somebody is discipline, it means that person is focused, and is doing that which he/she has been instructed

c.       The Lord disciplines those He loves (Heb 12:6). If we love our children, then let’s teach them and train them. That is discipline! Your child should be your disciple. You should be proud to here some body say “like father like son” or “like mother like daughter” or whatever likes.

Are you ashamed when you hear people say “like father like son” or “like mother like daughter”? Then you have not disciple your child well. A parent who trains well his/her children is proud to hear such words. He/She is ready to tell friends that “This my child is walking in my shoes”. That is what God wants you to do.

d.      The Bible also recommends the rod of correction on wayward children (Prov 13:24, Prov 29:15)read

e.       Some parents are afraid to correct their children when they disobey them. I tell you that if that child dies because of the waywardness, God will request his/her blood from your head. You must discipline your child in:

§  Poor dressing

§  Absence from classes

§  Drunkenness

§  Fornication

§  Stealing and lies telling

§  Bitterness to others (There are some children who are just angry with others for no cause. Perhaps they copied from their parents)

§  Smoking etc

As you discipline them, do not annoy your children. Be reasonable when directing them. Let it be to the measure and not more. Eg. My children know that you cannot call any person an animal (“nyam” in the dilect); because I do not allow them. The moment I hear that from them I take a cane. Last time when I visited them, my son welcomed me and the next statement he told me was that “no one has said “nyam” in this house Daddy”. Because he knows I will not allow.

Be yourself disciplined (be self-controlled) and your children will copy from you. If you call people animals, your children will call others like that. If you treat people bad, do not expect your children to do different. In fact you are training an army against you when you train your children to attack others. When they will not have a battle to fight, they will come back to you.

Hello mothers! Teach your children to love, and they will love you in return. Teach them to fight others and they will fight you when the time comes. You will reap of your own labour.

5.      Develop your children into maturity (1 Cor 13:11) read

a.       The Bible tells us that Jesus grew in wisdom and statue and in favour with God and man (Luke 6:32). His parents nurtured Him, He learned from rabbis to grow intellectually.

b.      Parents should provide for their children. They need food, clothes, to go to school, to learn a trade and bring them to order. There are some parents who deliver and abandon. They are not true parents. Real parents and those who take care after they deliver.

c.       Teach them to share with the needy and those suffering. Help them make good friends and to socialize so that they will not be social misfits when they grow old.

d.      Let them respect authority in and out of home. They must respect their parents else they’ll not respect any one out there.

Hello children! You also have your responsibility towards your parents. The Bible commands children to obey their parents so that their days may be long here on earth.

Children should care for their parents even when still young so that they will not depart from it when they grow old. Prov 23:22-24 tells us that wise children make their parents happy.

When I was between 7 and 11 years I fetched firewood and sold. At times I will sell a bunch of firewood just for 75 Fcfa. Some days 100 Fcfa. And what I did with my money was that I buy a box of ‘match’ for 15 Fcfa and salt for 25 Fcfa which I’ll take home to my mother. Some days I will buy 2 or 3 boxes of match to my grandmother. They were so happy and that became a habbit that I could not stop doing giving to my mother even to the days she passed on to glory.

Some of us do not take care of our parents even when we have enough. Why? Because you never learned this truth. Teach your children else you shall reap the same fruit when you get old. How many of us today have sent something to our mothers or fathers? What about this past month? It is time you start doing it.

Many of us shift blames to the society for corrupting your children where as you are to blame for failing to teach them.